“To be loved is to be known.”
Yes, there are 5 love languages, but I believe that the mother of all those languages is the intent to know the person you love.
It’s easy to say romantic words, give gifts, and all that, but how can you do that if you don’t know what your loved ones want?
I realized that yes, I’ve been getting flowers. But no one from my past relationships asked me what kind of flowers I wanted. They default to giving me roses. I always liked carnations. No one knows, because no one asked. And of course, I appreciate the gesture, but it saddens me to think that these people don’t know me.
It’s not only a case of flowers. This becomes most visible when you start living with your partner. What I always say is, I notice everything, because I do. Sometimes I just don’t say things out loud, or I just let things slide, but still, I pay attention. I’d know all your favorite things and food, every detail, every date. I want you to know and feel that I know you to the core. And that’s also the kind of love I want to receive.
Dating in your 30s is difficult because you are already whole as a person; you don’t need anyone to do anything. You want someone who will add value to your life, to make it more.
Sometimes, I feel like I have already come to terms with the fact that romantic love may not be for me. It is what it is. I promised myself that I would never, ever settle for the love that I didn’t ask for.
